I got two new front tires installed. Hooray for safe drivings.

I’m sending out some last minute emails at work and then driving to San Diego. As I mentioned yesterday my father is really upset that I’m spending the weekend with “some dude” that isn’t my official boyfriend. I thought I was embracing the spirit of BMO and just being honest but that just didn’t fly too well with my pops.

All I can do is head over to San Diego and make the best of my weekend.

Today I’m actually spending the whole day with my college roommate who lives in SD as well (I’m very excited about this) and I’ll meet up with Salsa Guy tomorrow.

It should be a good weekend. Let’s just hope my dad doesn’t flip any further… -_-

Thank you!!!!! I am so happy to hear that my blog is being enjoyed by others. :D I love being able to share with you all, especially people who are going through or will be going through the same type of things. That’s why I’m here! We’re all in this together. 

Btw, there is no such thing as too many questions!!

Well here is a little timeline of the last couple years of my life:

I graduated in June 2011 from my alma mater in San Diego. [Have I mentioned how much I love San Diego?] I lived there for all four years of college and moved back to LA about a year ago, where I grew up AKA I moved back home.

Just like with everything in life, it has it’s good and it’s bad. But I am fortunate enough that the good outweighs the bad. Living at home has allowed me to save up money, travel much more than I would have otherwise, and rekindle my relationships with my family. Um, not to mention lots of home cooked meals. :P The negatives included little things like having to let my parents know where I was going to be [but I used to do that with my roommates as well, so no big deal] and not being able to have guests over whenever, at whatever time. [This makes dating/relationships very difficult]. Drama with siblings and definitely some invasions of personal space. I’ll admit that it was a big adjustment but I have loved and am still enjoying living at home.

I could have very well been depressed about it, but I decided that living at home was a means to an end. I tried to look at it as another exciting phase in my life. And it was/is going to allow me to save up money, and decrease my overall stress while I’m in graduate school. I plan on living at home for the next two years while I finish up my masters program. At that point, I will make my next life plan, which will include my living arrangements, which I am very excited about. Meanwhile, though, I will enjoy my now.

Speaking of dating and all that, living at home hasn’t made that more difficult, at all, other than what I mentioned about just having to communicate with my parents where and with whom I’ll be or like on this past Friday, my intimidating looking father awkwardly meeting my date. But really, I don’t sweat it too much because if a dude wants to get to know me, he needs to know my family too. I’m a Latina woman, family is waaaaay important.But i will admit that I am very lucky that my parents really respect my personal space and my personal life, for the most part. As long as they know that I’m safe and well, it’s all gravy.

I loved that you asked me what I miss about undergrad because that was a legitimate concern that I had when I was about to graduate. I was one of those people who loved their undergraduate experience. But I will tell you that I don’t miss most of it. I feel like I had the greatest four years but that I was ready to move onto something else, something better. It’s like I was just ready to move on.

One aspect I do miss is the lazy weekends with my roommates where we’d lie around having ‘real talks’ and laughing to the point of exhaustion. Luckily I still get to have those moments with them, on a pretty regular schedule.

I took a year off after undergrad and worked, traveled [quite a bit] and had so much fun. Taking time off allowed me to really figure things out about myself. I’ll let you read about that in my post “Gap Year”.

Oh and let me just say that my college friends and I are still SUPER tight. It requires effort, especially when some of us are far away. I went to visit my college roommate while she was in New York. I just visited my other roommates in San Fransisco three weeks ago and I regularly see my friends in LA. Not to mention, emails, phone calls and texts with an occasional skype. I believe that if you want to keep in touch, you will. We call ourselves the wolf pack and the wolf pack sticks together ;D.

I hope this answers all your questions. And I hope that I was able to give you some insight into post-grad life.

Cheers and Best of Luck!

-C

I will not let my fears stop me from doing what I really want to do. 

And neither should you.

Last time I saw JA was on our 5th and last date ever. He took me out for the night of B’s: Bowling, Booze, and Boardgames. He organized the whole thing and ended the night with a kiss. This is the guy that I was head over heels for.

Despite our short-lived dating, I hadn’t felt so in-sync with another man in a long time. I had met him while volunteering and we had spent hours and hours together before he finally asked me out on a date. And it seemed like he was head over heels about me…

But after that fifth date, he did “the fade”. You all know the one. He slowly withdrew from my life and like all smart women should do in those kinds of situations, I let it go. IMMEDIATELY. I don’t fight for people who don’t want me. Even though I “let it go”, I still thought of him sometimes a lot all the time.

But slowly, with time, the memory and feelings for him faded and finally disappeared.

Tonight that volunteer group, that we were both part of, is having a get-together, reunion of sorts. And of course, I’m not going to miss it. This means that it will be my first time seeing JA, since we had our tongues down each others throats.

So yeah…

Here I am months later, and I’m a bit nervous.

This morning my best friend and I were having a conversation about this and she  told me

If you’re nervous, it’s probably because you still like him. Right? I think you still like him.

I responded

No. I don’t. I truly don’t. I’m nervous because since he’s the one that ended things… I’m afraid….afraid to appear weak.

But a cup of coffee and a few hours later… As I think things over, I remember the truth:

I’m not weak. I’m anything but weak. I’m a strong, mother effin bad ass of a lady.

So today when I see JA. I’m going to strut my stuff, smile my smile, politely say hello and enjoy myself.

This is your moment. People like to think that the odds are stacked against them. Crappy job market, no money, no support, no clue how to enter the field you desire. While a lot of this is valid, you have to realize that by being the new generation, it’s our turn now. Someone has to be the new, great filmmaker, artist, scientist, author, etc. So why not let that someone be you? What’s different today than back then is that there is no clear path anymore. Lines are smudged, career trajectories are murky. But that’s also what makes it so exciting, don’t you think? You can create your own journey and become a trailblazer. I mean, is that a ridiculous thing to suggest? I’m typing this out and kind of wanting to gag at the saccharine tone, but I still think it’s true. I still think it’s possible to go after what you want and get it. It just involves a buttload of discipline and tenacity. You also can’t ever second-guess yourself. Imprint it on your brain. You will become who you want to be. There is no other alternative. The power of positive thinking often feels sooooo “delusional sorority girl” but it’s effective in many ways. It certainly can’t hurt, right? Besides, you’ll need all the help you can get during this freaking decade.

Old friend from high school is dropping by to catch up. Haven’t seen this guy in forevers. He just moved to LA from Santa Barbara so we’re neighbors again.

I asked him if he wanted to join me on my power walk this evening and he said yes, so there we go!!

About 2 months ago I completed my very own training so I could volunteer at a suicide hotline. Today I was asked to come and help out with the training for the new incoming group of volunteers. I enjoyed it so much because I got a lot out of it as well as the trainees. 

But being there in the lecture room brough back so many memories of JA. JA is the guy I met during that training, who I fell for HARD. “Hard’ is actually an understatement. Anyway, we spent hours upon hours together, every Saturday, for 3 months doing the training. Then we started going out after the 8 hour training. We’d spend up to 18 hours in a row together. And, to me… those were the shortest, sweetest hours just flew by with a blink of an eye. But for those of you who don’t know, it ended shortly after the training ended.  

And… I CANNOT GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD. 

I know this is totally: *#whiney-unrequited-love-problems*

and I don’t want to be the person to post stupid, I miss him blah blah blah posts. Especially because he wasn’t my boyfriend. We just dated.

But what gets me REALLY HARD is that this dude was a special breed of guy. He was 26, had his life all in order, volunteered out of the goodness of his heart, sweetest, most hilarious dude EVER. Plus, if you ever got a glimpse of his deep blue eyes offset by his dark brown hair you would also be in the same spot as me. 

And this all-too-wonderful guy made me a damn romantic mixed CD for Valentine’s Day which I refuse to listen to now, for the simple fact that it makes me sad. He even once sent me a poem via text to cheer me up when I had a horrible day, which I have to admit is still saved in my phone. (I need to delete that shit.)

If I could have one wish pertaining to this whole ordeal, it would be to ask him why he changed his mind. I would ask him how he could go from thinking I was such an “caring awesome person” (his words, not mine) and laughing hysterically for hours to deciding he didn’t want to pursue me anymore. 

But that is just not how things go…

I will have to make my own closure…

Easier said than done, huh?

1. First sip of delicious coffee in the morning.

2. Finding the perfect outfit.

3. Finding a post on WhatShouldWeCallMe that you know your best friends will find relevant and therefore hilarious.

4. Those blissful moments when you are laying in bed and can hear the rain falling outside.

5. Getting a letter in the mail.

6. Getting an email that starts with “Congratulations, you have been accepted/hired/chosen…”

7. Getting asked out on a date by the person you have had your sight set on.

8. Laughing so hard with your best friends, that it hurts.

9. The feeling of complete satisfaction after a delicious meal.

10. The perfect first kiss.

11. A big, long, hug after a long, difficult day.

12. Finding a new blog to follow that you’re really excited to have come across.

13. Feeling like you have truly moved on and are over your ex.

14. A refreshing coca-cola with ice.

15. Booking a flight for an upcoming trip.