Tenacious Twenties

All ready… waiting for my best friend to get my house at...

Sat, 18 May 2013 09:08:00 -0400

All ready… waiting for my best friend to get my house at FIVE AM. (That’s what the five is for!)

Oh, so for the graduation ceremony I’m rocking black floor length maxi dress with yellow clutch and sandals.

Up at 5AM? I must really love her!

Sat, 18 May 2013 08:39:44 -0400

Driving with one best friend up to Oxnard for our other best friend’s graduation. This will be the first time in weeks and weeks that the TRIO is reunited. Oh, and officially the trio will all be Bachelor achieving. :D So proud.

So we’re off on a mini-road trip and a fun weekend!

Do you know anyone who is still with their college "love"?

Sat, 18 May 2013 02:06:51 -0400

I do. Actually my two good friends from undergrad are still together and we always joke about how they’re going to get married and they both blush. They are such an amazing couple. She’s working in consulting and he’s med school bound.

I also have met a couple of cohort members who met their bf’s in college and even high school. So yes! I definitely know couples like that!

-C

JUST got back from a bonfire with my cohort. We got together for a second, more sober, celebration...

Sat, 18 May 2013 01:33:00 -0400

JUST got back from a bonfire with my cohort. We got together for a second, more sober, celebration of our first year of graduate school. I have sand between my toes, the smell of bonfire on my hoodie, and the biggest smile on my face. I feel relaxed and enjoying my accomplishment.

Wow, I've never "met" anyone else with a flip phone! I'm the only one I know who has one still, but it's now on it's last breath and I know I'll have to get a smart phone. I like simplicity and I don't want one, but I know I need to "get with the times". Are you going to upgrade? Do you ever get made fun of for your flip phone?

Fri, 17 May 2013 18:39:00 -0400

You don’t haveeee to get a smart phone. Live your life. Do what you want. I’m going to upgrade any time soon. Definitely not while I’m in graduate school. My plan currently costs me 20 dollars a month. I have unlimited texts and plenty of talk-time.

You will not believe how often I get approached by strangers telling me that I NEED to upgrade. It’s hilarious really. Also, it’s a great conversation starter!

It’s never bothered me other than when I get lost and wish I could use a navigation application.

-C

When my friends and I have to go to work after a night out

Fri, 17 May 2013 18:28:33 -0400

whatshouldwecallme:

This is me after last night’s celebrating of the end of the school year.

What's up with you and Salsa guy?

Fri, 17 May 2013 18:25:00 -0400

Things are going GREAT. We have really progressed. We’ve discussed our relationship, the types of things we want and are excited about how things are going. Our two arguments that we’ve had have actually made us closer. :D

Overall, I’m very happy with how things are going with us.

-C

How difficult is getting into graduate school?

Fri, 17 May 2013 14:11:54 -0400

Not sure how to answer this. Yes, the long journey to getting into school was difficult, at times, but I’ve had so much fun. Here’s a break down of my experience and trajectory. (I am including seemly unrelated things in here but really they are all related and important to getting me to where I am today.)

Freshman Year in College: Fuck around. Enjoy moving out of my house at age 17. Live LIFE! Oh, I worked and skipped most classes.

Summer: Worked at a psych related job.

Sophomore Year in College: Get more serious. Raise GPA. Apply for internship with Counseling Center on Campus and got rejected. Volunteer for a plethora of other organizations instead so I could apply again. Oh, I worked as well and got really good grades. And I still partied a lot and learned how to play guitar hero.

Summer: Worked at a psych related job.

Junior Year of College: Getting more serious. Continue to raise GPA. Move off campus and into own apartment with four other ladies. First real relationship. Reapplied to the Counseling Center internship and actually got it that year. Continued working and starting another internship with an eating disorder specialist. Also broke up with that guy because he moved back to England.

Summer: Worked at a summer camp for kids.

Senior Year of College: Worked the entire year at a paid job and two unpaid positions that I had gotten last year. Got really AMAZING grades. Made a list of graduate school that I wanted to get into Got 3 letters of recommendation for graduate school.

Summer: Had the most amazing summer EVER working at a summer camp with kids and salsa dancing the nights away. Continued to make connections

One Year off between undergrad and Graduate school: I actually wrote an entire post on my gap year. It’s here if you want to read it: Gap Year. Basically, taking a year off from school was my savior. I was able to do ALL those things that I most wanted to do. Traveled, took classes for fun, salsa danced, dating around and most importantly applied to graduate school with a timeline, kick ass rec letters, a insightful statement of purpose and additional volunteer experience under my belt. This is probably why I don’t consider my experience getting into graduate school stressful. I was able to do it with time, in my own way.

Graduate School: So I’m here…now. Just finished my first year and I’m completely satisfied and all those job and work experiences have been where I learned the most. Yes, my undergraduate classes and grades were important but not as important as my work and life experiences. Traveling, volunteering at suicide hotline, big brothers/big sisters, the counseling center… all of these things made it easier to apply to graduate school and know that I was going to the right place. When you’re sure about where you’re going and you KNOW KNOW KNOW that this is the field for you, you can go into an interview with PASSION and confidence that only comes from knowing.

Was it a long process? YES

Did I have a few breakdowns along the way? YES

Was it worth it? FUcking YESSSS!

-C

WHO IS DONE WITH THEIR FIRST YEAR OF GRADUATE SCHOOL?

Fri, 17 May 2013 04:57:51 -0400

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck yes. I’m 50% a therapist.

Currently intoxicated but deliriously happy.

Just printed out my final FINAL paper for the school year.

Thu, 16 May 2013 19:26:38 -0400

Now I just need to go ACE my very last final and I’ll be OFFICIALLY DONE with my very first year of graduate school. Hellz to the YES!!

Did I mention that there will be major debauchery afterwards with the entire cohort!?

Moment of Glory

Thu, 16 May 2013 17:11:35 -0400

Waitress at Wedding: Wow, you're a really good dancer. I saw you two out on the dance floor *referring to me and salsa guy*. Do you two take dance classes together or something?

Me: Thank you so much. That makes me so happy to hear. We've both taken classes, but not together. But, we did meet salsa dancing.

Waitress: That's so sweet.

Literally have been glowing with this compliment for the last two weeks. Dance classes have been paying off.

Self-Care, y’all.

Thu, 16 May 2013 15:11:16 -0400

Self-Care, y’all.

This is my life. I am the last person I know with a flip phone....

Thu, 16 May 2013 13:37:00 -0400

This is my life. I am the last person I know with a flip phone. Hilarious.

I AM FLIP PHONE.

so after being in a rebound relationship and then an actual relationship i feel exhausted. i no longer feel the drive to date i haven't felt butterflies when i see a certain individual or are happy to see someone after a long time. does this mean i'm broken or finally stop believing in the romanticism of love?

Thu, 16 May 2013 13:26:53 -0400

No. You. are. not. broken. I Promise.

What you are is “burnt out”. You’ve depleted your ability to feel all those feelings towards somebody else, because it is not an unlimited supply. But the good news is that you can build it up again. You can. And I firmly believe that it comes from loving yourself. The good news is that you’re not going to break your own heart. I think that this might include a break from dating. I think you really might benefit from it. Here’s a post about “When I stopped dating”. Thought I might share.

Anyway, I think that somewhere to start is to identify what matters to you. What do YOU need? Better yet…what do you WANT? I’m currently reading a RIDICULOUS yet AWESOME book about the power of PLEASURE! Pleasure doesn’t just mean sex, it means fun and happiness in all that you do. Can you just imagine if you lived a life in which all that you did was pleasurable and fun and lovely? It seems unfathoamable right? It’s not though. This lovely ridiculous gem is called…READY FOR IT… “Mama Gena’s School of the Womanly Arts”? I understand that you may actually be a man, anon, which if you are…there are TONS of amazing books out there…but I just had to share this find of mine. Focus on whatever inspires you. Feeling inspired and having moments of awe can really rebuild your ability to feel connected.

In conclusion, focus on falling in love with yourself. I’m not even kidding. Take yourself out. Enjoy your company. Read what you want to read. Heal from the inside out. Hang out with people who make you happy. All of this will refuel your ability to feel those feelings. And honestly…what is more attractive than a person who is joyful and actually LIKES themselves! (It’s sad how effin’ rare this is!) Nothing!

Best of luck and love!

-C

My last paper and my last final are tomorrow and I for whatever reason (namely my job) have decided...

Wed, 15 May 2013 21:51:02 -0400

My last paper and my last final are tomorrow and I for whatever reason (namely my job) have decided to not start working on either of these endeavors. Hooray for procrastination at its finest.

Why I decide to stay in graduate school even though it’s...

Wed, 15 May 2013 19:24:19 -0400

Why I decide to stay in graduate school even though it’s slowly but surly killing me.

Use of the word in a sentence:

C hopes to meraki everyday when she is a therapist!

Can you give an update on what happened with the sister who stole your clothes? Is she still living with you and have things changed?

Wed, 15 May 2013 19:14:16 -0400

Yes!! Okay Updates: I had never seen my parents so adamant about my sister and her punishment. I really thought they were going to kick her out. However, it ended up turning out that they gave her a final chance to get her shit together. She’s really changed. I think that she realized how serious my parents were about how she’d been doing things. She started doing better in school, stopped being late for work, and stopped taking other’s shit. She stopped going out as much and I can tell she’s trying to slowly get her shit together.

But something that I ponder about, coming from an psych background, is why was she stealing? What purpose did it serve? Did she want attention?

Anyway, I am glad that she is still living with us. She wouldn’t have been able to survive out there, otherwise.

-C

I remember you posting about being a part of a suicide hotline. I've been going through something impossible, and I managed to push it all away but now it's back with a vengeance and I'm not sure what to do. I feel sick with anxiety and at some points absolutely hopeless, even though I know that I have a lot of great things going for me. I'm usually so positive, and I don't know how I fell into this place. I'm beyond a few encouraging words. How do you climb out of the bottom of a well?

Wed, 15 May 2013 18:00:00 -0400

Yes anon, I have posted some things related to my work at the hotline. The thing is that I can’t promise anyone, including you, that everything’s going to resolve itself. Because…There is no way I can know that and neither do you. It sounds like you’re going through some really tough things and through this short message I won’t be able to magically make things better… But from the little that you’ve said about yourself, it sounds like you’ve been able to be positive in the past and have gotten through “impossible” things, like you’ve said. That alone, shows the type of warrior that you are. You’re a survivor if you really think about it. Remember that resilience that you have, and try to use that as strength. You really do have all the answers that you seek, as cheesy as that may sound.

But the truth is that no one can do all of this alone. No one should have to go through difficult times alone. Seek out friends and family. And if that’s not possible right now, have you considered professional help. I firmly firmly believe in the healing power of therapy. Hell, I’m paying lots of money to become a therapist and I’m in therapy myself. There is lot of low cost resources out there! And calling a hotline, either suicide hotline (if those thoughts are coming up for, cuz sometimes they do) or a friendship line (somewhere you can just talk it out) is an option. Just know that no matter what, you’ve gotten through hard times and if you choose to, you can do it again.

Hugs and best of luck my dear,

-C

I'm Mourning...

Wed, 15 May 2013 14:14:00 -0400

..,mourning the loss of a friendship. It’s almost been a whole year since we had our friendship break-up. I can’t believe it. I think I had been holding on hope to mending our friendship, but clearly that isn’t happening. It’s so hard to swallow. But acceptance is necessary.

What are the must-have/no compromise traits for a guy you would date long term?

Wed, 15 May 2013 02:03:00 -0400

1. sense of humor

2. playful, fun personality (adventurous is a plus!)

3. respectful and kind

4. responsible

5. they have to like me for me

-C