So I’m a little apprehensive about my date tonight with lawyer dude. He called me yesterday to see if I wanted to go to the movies the night before our planned date. I thanked him for the invite but explained I had plans. Clearly that meant nothing to him because he kept insisting and insisting. Finally I had to say “Stop insisting. You need to respect the fact that I have plans”. I almost cancelled today’s date. Part of me wishes I had now.
Excerpt From My Personal Statement for Grad School
At the age of eight, I lost my mother to breast cancer. My mother was a fierce woman with an undying spirit. Though she was given a year to live, she fought through five more years despite the doctor’s prognosis. I witnessed her go through every conceivable treatment available at the time. During those five years, my mother did everything she could to best prepare my father and me for the inevitable. From teaching me how to do laundry and my father how to cook our favorite meals, she worked to make the transition as smooth as possible. My mother left me video tapes, photos, cassettes of my favorite lullabies, and letters I would read in the years to come. Of course, no amount of forewarning could prepare someone for the loss of a parent. I did, nonetheless, receive the gift of time with my mother. Knowing what was coming made me appreciate every moment with her in a way that I probably would not have otherwise. It gave me the chance to accept my mother’s death in a way that most people are not afforded. Having experienced true loss in my own life has cultivated my empathy for others and motivated me to find a way to reach out to others in times of need. In this way I am able to exercise my firmly held belief that no one should have to go through life’s challenges alone.
It seems like liking yourself is a revolutionary act now-a-days. Liking how you look, liking who you are is apparently not the norm. Saying “I love myself” is seen as bazard. Some might even call it conceited.
How ludicrous is it that we applaud those who dislike themselves and condemn those that actually like themselves?
But I have to protest.
We have all been given a body, a mind, and if you believe in souls, a soul as well.
And unless you believe in reincarnation, then you probably agree with the fact that we get one shot in this world. One Life. And why should we waste it disliking who we are?
That’s right. We shouldn’t. And…we don’t have to.
Why not be revolutionary and love yourself, just the way you are. There is always going to be room for improvement, but why not get crazy and love yourself right this very second instead of ten pounds from now or a job promotion from now or straight A’s from now.
For some reason, we feel compelled to fix our “imperfections”, to strive for some ideal image, for perfection. But let me break it to you all, you ARE perfect. Just the way you are. There are way too many reasons to list, why there is much more profit in telling us how much we need to “better” ourselves instead of how much we need to love ourselves. So do yourself a favor, say “Fuck it. I love myself TODAY.”
I think we could all benefit from a little bit more self love.
I was on my way to the salsa club last night when I had a mini-panic attack.
I called my best friend and told her
OMG. I don’t know if I can do this. I’m in Pasadena and I’m going salsa dancing ALONE.
She told me
That is so “Sex & The City” of you. You love dancing so you should do this, for you. You can do this.
I thanked her for her support. I took a deep breathe, parked my car and walked into the club.
I looked around. Everyone was sitting in small groups. Conversing amongst themselves. Shit. What do I do? I could feel the panic growing inside of me.
I wasn’t really sure what to do. But then I spotted this guy who I had met once before at another salsa class. I went over to where he was sitting with three other guys and said hello. He introduced me to his three other buddies.
One of them caught my eye. His name was Ten. Yes, like the number 10! So Ten introduced himself and we immediately hit it off. He was Cambodian, cute, and definitely had a special kind of swag. We were chatting for a while until we were interrupted by an announcement that a dance lesson was going to be starting upstairs.
I excused myself and headed upstairs.
Class started and the instructor went over the basics and and taught us some cool new steps. The instructor had us dance for a bit with each person in the class. He’d yell “rotate” and we’d switch partners. I got to meet each person in the class including this super-sexy-Latin god of a man, who was by far the best dancer in the class. And let me just say, a man who can dance is insta-hot in my eyes.
Before I knew it, the class was over.
After class, Ten came up to me and asked if I wanted to keep practicing so we went on the dance floor and that’s where the dancing really started. Ten had been dancing hip hop basically his whole life so he had a certain kind of flare to his salsa dancing that most people don’t. He was super fun and I actually learned a lot from him.
After a while, ten had to leave because he had friends waiting for him elsewhere. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and left.
That is when I was truly ALONE.
I am so proud of myself. Instead of leaving right away because I found myself alone, I went to the bar, bought myself a drink and hung out at the bar watching the instructors on the dance floor.
I was mesmerized by the dancing. Every turn, every step, was precise and purposeful while still being graceful and fluid. I can honestly say…I’m in love with salsa dancing. It brings me so much joy.
Anyway, I finished my drink, grabbed my things and decided to head home.
Last night I learned that going out alone does not mean you’re alone. I met some really awesome people and danced so hard that I can hardly walk today.
But I have no regrets because, sore and all, I have thee biggest smile on my face today.
It’s time to sing in the streets! According to the Washington Post (my new neighborhood newspaper), Congress actually managed to do something constructive for ten minutes. Encouraged by both presidential candidates (does Mitt Romney really count?) the perilously slow men and women of Capitol Hill managed to negotiate a bipartisan deal to ensure that student loan rates in the U.S. will remain at 3.4% for another year.
Nothing is certain, YET. But this literally MADE.MY.DAY.
All right. I have a fear of going places alone. Okay, certain places.
It’s not like I have social phobia. I don’t mind going to the mall alone. Or to a food joint, doctors appointments… all of that… I actually prefer to go alone to some of those places sometimes.
But I have never been to a social setting by myself. I’ve never been to a club or a bar alone.
I get really anxious about the idea of not having someone to converse with or someone to stand with.
But tonight, I really want to go salsa dancing. And as per usual, the salsa dancing gods have it out against me and I have no one can go with me. Ugh.
Therefore, I will be facing one of my fears tonight. I am going to go ALONE. I’m a bit nervous, but I don’t care. This is happening. I will be facing my fears. I will go alone and I will dance tonight.
On my way to get my massage this evening, I got a call from the lawyer dude I met on a night out in LA last week. I gave him my number, but I quickly decided that I didn't want to hang out with this guy since he was ...quite a bit older than I...But now I'm reconsidering because he's been proving himself. I like his style. Respectful, consistent, and considerate...
Lawyer Dude:Hey, I was wondering...I know it's last minute..but a friend of mine gave me tickets to movie premiere for a client he represents. I was wondering if you wanted to come, but I totally get if you can't. I know it's really last minute.
Me:Oh, that's really sweet of you but I actually have a massage that I've really been looking forward to .
Lawyer Dude:No worries. I would not want to miss that either.
Me:But thanks anyways.
Lawyer Dude:Well, I also wanted to ask if perhaps this Saturday you were free.
Me:Ah, I have no plans as of now.
Lawyer:Well, do you enjoy food, drinks, Jazz and BMW's?
Me:Ha,Ha...Sure I eat and drink. Jazz is cool and well, BMW's are nice. Ha.
Lawyer Dude:There is a Jazz Festival on the roof of the BMW building in Beverley Hills I was interested in going to if your interested in going with me.
Me:That sounds really fun. I'll definitely let you know by tonight or tomorrow.
Okay, so here's the question for you all:How old is too old? I'm 22. He's 33.
I like how my Alma Mater continuously emails me about donating money to my school.
I graduated a year ago and quite honestly, they should be donating money to me as I pay off debt and try to get myself established. Not to mention that I’m starting graduate school in two months!!
Don’t get me wrong. I am a big fan of my Alma Mater. But it’s just unrealistic that most graduates could make donations a year after graduation. But there are exceptions, so I hope that they may get the funds they need to keep bettering the school.
goabroad com/volunteer-abroad shows a lot of different organizations to volunteer through. since you will be going overseas, you will need to pay for certain housing/transportation/food costs. i went through this site to find a volunteer opportunity in japan and it was actually a whole lot of fun. i hope you find what you're looking for.
Thank you for all of this. Greatly appreciated.
Also, I shall post this publicly, so that my fellow followers can check it out if they like.
I am determined to do some sort of volunteer abroad program next year. Ideally, it would be in Peru. I could do some philanthropy as well as see Machu Pichu which has been on the TOP of my “Places To Go” for a long time. And I’m at the point where going alone is not an issue. I’m actually craving to do this alone.
The issue is that when you google organizations to do this through, there is a bizillion of them and some of them do not look trust-worthy.
I would much rather go through an organization that I know I can trust because others have used it.
I think everyone has that list of characteristics that they’d like in partner: smart, attractive, funny, tall, successful, …etc. But I think we all acknowledge that there is so much more to it than that.
For a long time I thought that I knew what I wanted in partner. But it hasn’t been up until recently that I think I’ve actually identified some of what truely matters to me. This will probably change with time and experience but here is what I have:
I look for a man who is respectful towards me and everyone he meets. This includes those who do not share his same opinions or interests as him. He also stands up for what he believes in, even if he’s standing alone.
My ideal man loves and cares for his family but has an identity of his own outside of his family.
Aside from myself, my man would have a variety of passions that he pursues endlessly. I don’t care if its photography or bio-engineering but he’s engaged in something that he cares about.
You can see his intelligence seeping out of him when we discussing matters that matter to him. I’ll learn a lot from him and he’ll be able to learn from me.
He won’t always agree with me. He will challenge me when I’m being stupid, but can simultaneously admit when he’s wrong. Because he’s going to be wrong sometimes, ha.
He can be sexy as hell, in his own way. Emotional if he feels like it. Adventurous in and outside of the bedroom. And have a zest for life.
He will understand that he is responsible for his actions.
I ask that he be committed to -only- me, as far as monogamous relationships are concerned. But we will still that we be able to grow apart and together.
Oh yea, and he’ll make me laugh. All the time. He will make me laugh until I can’t breathe. We will laugh. A lot.
He might be quirky, a little nerdy, or a bit awkward. It’s okay. I’m down with that.
He won’t be perfect. Because no one is. But he’ll care. And because he’ll care, in my eyes, he’ll be perfect.
I know abortion is a really touchy subject. I get it. It’s controversial and it’s a topic many people just don’t agree on. And that’s why I am going to try my best to be PC and as respectful as possible while writing this.
I think we can all agree, whether ‘Pro-Choice’ or ‘Pro-Life’, that making a decision about abortion is not a situation that anyone wants to be in or go through. It’s already a difficult personal decision, without bombarding that person with a billion opposing views.
I’m sure that most people would like to avoid that issue all-together, if they could.
Unfortunately, because of the nature of life, it is an issue that we do have to deal with. It has moral, legal, and life altering repercussions.
I think we can all agree that we all have the right as citizens of the United States and as human beings to have different opinions, values and moral standards. Right?
And we all have the right to use all of those aspects of our persona to make decisions in our life.
As I’m writing this, I can foresee some opposing arguments, like ‘So does that mean that we should allow people to go around shooting others just because it fits within their personal moral code?’ And the answer is ‘No, I don’t think that at all’. Just hear me out, please.
Our freedom to do as we please ends when we infringe on another person’s rights. Therefore, killing another living human being wouldn’t be within our rights.
And once again I already know the opposing view’s argument, ‘what about the unborn baby’s rights?’ but let me stop you right there.
We can spend all day and all night debating the technicality of life: whether it starts when the sperm and the egg meet, or whether it’s at the first trimester or when the baby takes its first breathe.
I know there is no right answer here. I think we can all agree that there is no perfect answer to all of this.
Regardless of how I feel about abortion, what I can’t fathom is how I, little ole me, could ever make a decision about someone else’s egg and sperm, and make a decision, for them,about what can or can’t occur inside of that woman’s womb. This woman has her own set of experiences, beliefs and circumstances the rest of us know nothing about.
How can I make a decision about her?
Plain and simple: I can’t.
That being said, I think that for anyone who is ‘Pro-life’, it is in COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY in their right to never get an abortion because it does not fit within their own sets of values. That’s more than fine, it’s their right as humans. They get to choose because it’s their life, their body.
But what I just don’t get…what I just can’t process, is people who go around telling others what they ought, can or can’t do within their own body in their own life.
"Hey you! I’m going to tell you what can or can’t occur inside of your own body, even though I do not know you nor will I ever know you personally."
What I like about ‘Pro-Choice’ is that it’s exactly that: A CHOICE.
'Pro-Choice' does not equal DEATH. It equals freedom to choose whatever is best for you because there is no conceivable way that I, nor you, could know what is best for every woman in the world.
How do I, personally, view abortion?
Let me tell you, I never wish to be in that situation where I have to make such a difficult situation. I know it’s something that has physcial and emotional repercussions, either way.
All I can say is that, I hope that if life threw that situation my way, I would have a choice. A choice to decide what’s best for me and my life.
I had so much fun that I wish I could replay last night in a montage type of slide show while playing “We are young” in the background.
It was that kind of fun.
I met the most fun and friendly group of people ever.
The evening started off with an elaborate meal served by equally delicious waiters who were recent USC film school graduates trying to make their way into the entertainment business.
After the meal and award ceremony for hospital’s residents, we made our way to The W hotel in downtown LA for the after party.
That’s where the real fun started.
We talked it up, laughed it up, oh and let’s not forget, drank it up.
I actually ended up meeting this interesting dude. He was there on a business meeting and once his clients left, he made it a point to come up to me and start talking to me. He was an attorney from the east coast who had graduated from Yale and had been working in LA for a couple years. He told me about his life and asked me about mine. At one point, we made a playful bet which resulted with me winning and him buying me a drink.
Interestingly enough, even though this dude had some cool things to say, I just didn’t find myself truly attracted to him. He was just a bit too old for me. I’m not ready to date people who tell me “You’re probably too young to remember this…but…”. He was a cool person but, no thanks.
So I thanked him for the drink and made my way back to the rest of the group, where we ended up laughing some more, chatting some more and drinking some more.
Around 2AM, a group of us made our way to 800 Degrees, a local pizzeria, for the most bomb pizza in all of LA where the spectacular pizza was only heightened by the exquisite nature of the company with whom I was with.
You are not your bra size, nor are you the width of your waist, nor are you the slenderness of your calves. You are not your hair color, your skin color, nor are you a shade of lipstick. Your shoe-size is of no consequence. You are not defined by the amount of attention you receive from males, females, or any combination thereof. You are not the number of sit-ups you can do, nor are you the number of calories in a day. You are not your mustache. You are not the hair on your legs. You are not a little red dress. You are no amalgam of these things.
You are the content of your character. You are the ambitions that drive you. You are the goals that you set. You are the things that you laugh at and the words that you say. You are the thoughts you think and the things you wonder. You are beautiful and desirable not for the clique you attend, but for the spark of life within you that compels you to make your life a full and meaningful one. You are beautiful not for the shape of the vessel, but for the volume of the soul it carries.